Orlando, Florida archives

8.31.2005
Volume 1 - Orlando, Florida
Jambo friends! Yes, I have become bilingual. Jambo means hello in some Disney-approved African language. I get to say it every time I see someone at my new job. To get you up to speed on everything…here is where I’m at. After graduating in May, I stayed at college for the summer and worked for Special Events & Summer Programs. Basically, I helped run conferences at the school. My main area was making and placing directional signs so guests could find their way around campus. I got free food and a free room, so I couldn’t have asked for anything better. But come August it was time to move on.

So here I am in Orlando, Florida. Well, though I am technically in Orlando, I’d hardly know it. My life and surroundings are just about all Disney all the time. Look on any decent map and you’ll see a big blob just southwest of Orlando labeled Walt Disney World. It really should be its own city, because there are more people here and it covers more land than many small towns across America. I’m doing the Disney College Program now. People have different opinions on the program. On one side I am one of thousands before and after me who are exactly alike. We are cheap labor for Disney without benefits or bargaining power. On the other hand, we get to work in a fun environment with a lot of perks and room for advancement. It all really depends on the job you’re assigned.

When you sign up for the program you pick and area to work in. My area was Operations. I made a few requests and to my surprise, the powers that be actually listened and put me in the job of a lifetime. I can’t think of any better position working on the front lines of Disney World. I am a safari driver at a ride called Kilimanjaro Safaris at Disney’s Animal Kingdom. It is a really cool ride where guests travel around in a big truck through this African savannah and see real animals all over the place. And of course there is a cool message about poachers as well. I am just finishing my training now, and I’m super-excited to get to work. I get to drive this 30-foot, 10-ton truck around these narrow roads with elephants, giraffe, hippos, rhinos, and about five kinds of antelope all around me…all while talking about the animals to the 30 people riding in my truck. It is really cool. By the time I’m done, I’ll miss seeing warthogs and lions as a part of my daily routine.

So what is it like working for one of the ten biggest companies in the world? Well, you don’t really notice. You are so focused on your ride and your specialty that you forget your boss also owns ABC and Touchtone Pictures. Apart from feeling like a tiny but important cog in a giant wheel, it’s really cool. There are thousands of people that work here, but it is really neat. Disney does a lot of cool things for its employees, and the type of person who works here is generally an interesting and fun-loving breed. Most people are like big kids. There are a few people who make you wonder why they’re there, but most people work here for a love of animals or a love of making dreams come true. It is incredible to think about the power we have to make people happy. People are really happy and excited to be at Disney World, and this place will bend over backwards to give you the time of your life (assuming you can pay for it!)

Ironically a good chunk of the College Program kids missed the memo that they are working for Disney instead of Busch Gardens. Working for Busch Gardens would at least theoretically justify a lifestyle of 24/7 drunkenness, you’d just be supporting your parent company. But Disney? Yes friends, I would be upset too if I drove to Florida to find I’d be picking up trash for four months, but there are people here who I am astonished even got into college much less got hired here. Nevertheless, we are all generally good actors, and even the people who hate Disney and hate their jobs pretend to be happy at least a few minutes when they see a smiling kid.

So Disney is by far the most interesting company I could ever hope to work for. They have the inner workings of a major city. There is just so much going on. And hopefully I’ll get to experience most of it. With free admission to all the parks and about every Disney fact anyone could ever want to know. I will be your man for Disney info for a long time. And I’d tell you much more, but hey, I had to sign a contract saying I wouldn’t, and I’m an honest man. From my point of view, however, Walt Disney was one jive cookie. And if anyone has any ideas or suggestions or fun job openings or fun places to live, let me know please. Because I have no idea what I’ll be doing with my life come January 3. Thanks for keeping it real, and have a magical day!

(Oh and come down and visit. If you’ve ever wanted to come to Disney World, I guarantee I’ll get you the best deal of your life…as long as it’s before January 3!)


Jeremy

p.s. – Don’t pretend you don’t like Disney movies either! You know “The Lion King” was your favorite movie 10 years ago.





9.7.2005
Volume 2 - Orlando, Florida
Today’s topic of discussion is Disney World for adults (or those people 18 and over who still act like kids). For all it’s preaching about happy, innocent dreams come true and wholesome family-friendly entertainment, Disney has never been all about the kids. Kids like having fun…adults like pleasure. Therefore, we have Pleasure Island, a literal island in one of Disney’s 18,000 man-made lakes, nestled in between two sections of loud glitzy shopping and dining. The whole thing is called Downtown Disney, and it is easy to spend many an evening there. Pleasure Island is old as dirt but the rest of the shopping is an answer to Universal’s CityWalk.

There is something odd about PI (as it is lazily called by the locals). It’s all Disney. There is Disney memorabilia everywhere. But it’s also dance clubs and bars. It just all seems a little off and takes some getting used to. Who are the people that frequent this place? Where are their kids while they’re out having fun? Are they just so rich they can afford a hotel with a babysitting service? This tiny island is home to SEVEN entertainment venues, about five stores (including Harley) and a restaurant. You pay a flat rate of $20 (or nothing for us special people) to get into all the clubs, but anyone can walk around and browse. I have not been in all these clubs yet, nor am I sure I will ever make it, though I’d like to. It’s the kind of place where you really need to be with good friends, your significant other, or a potential hottie to truly enjoy, and neither of those will happen for me till January.

But here’s what I know. There are giant video screens playing loud Top 40 music through the streets. They have about 10 spotlights on the top of the buildings shining into the sky. You can see them from miles away, including my apartment complex. There is a big stage right in the middle of it al where they have bands sometimes. Then there’s the clubs. Something for everyone. First on our trip is the BET Soundstage. I didn’t make it in that one. My roommates did and said they felt tiny and about to get beat up when they walked in. Then the Adventurer’s Club, a place I don’t quite understand just yet. Next is 8Trax, a ‘70s and ‘80s club that played the full 20 minute version of Rapper’s Delight and was full of people who might play a villain in any good Disney movie. There is also the Comedy Warehouse. This place is my favorite so far. Obviously, it’s a comedy club. It has really cool steep seating, hilarious improve, and a great décor. The place is filled with old signs from the theme parks, apparently from rides that have since shut down. So now you know what happened to the 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea ride when it was replaced with Ariel’s Grotto. There is also Mannequin’s Dance Palace. It is newly revamped to look like an abandoned clothing store and has a revolving dance floor and even plays techno. This is all speculation though. It is also widely known as the gay club. So I really want to check it out, because hey it sounds cool and the dance floor moves, but my roommates won’t touch it. And something about going solo into a gay club doesn’t sound like a good idea. Next is the Rock and Roll Beach Club. Who knows; it was closed when I visited. And finally Motion, your typical skinny white people dancing to Lil’ Jon grindfest club. And there you have it, proof that Disney ahs something for everyone, even the alcoholics.

In other news, I made it into downtown Orlando yesterday. It was very relaxed and cool. Everyone knows its second fiddle to Disney, but they are happy playing second fiddle. I saw some amazing bands at a club that I just discovered. As if every band to come from Sweden wasn’t already perfect, now we have Jettie, the Coldplay-esque band that’s better than Coldplay because they don’t put you to sleep. I really need to go to Scandinavia some time. And, take note of my new pick for the next big band. Remember when I picked Relient K and Brand New and Fall Out Boy and then they became super-famous? Well I did, I’m telling you. And next is JamisonParker. Really really good. Right up there with the dual harmonies of Brand New. Listen to their music on PureVolume. That’s my advice…and never let ants get into your car. They’re a real pain and they never die.





9.13.2005
Volume 3 - Orlando, Florida
The coolest professor ever to grace the podiums of Elizabethtown College has asked me to reflect on the ethical aspects of life at Disney and whether working there is part of what bit means to live the good life. (You know you miss school a lot when you take a professor up on his offer to give you homework four months after you graduated.) So while the less intellectual of us (and that’s cool if it’s you) may be bored by this one. But for those of us who enjoy sitting around and thinking about things like corporate responsibility, happiness, and the purpose of the mass media, please enjoy my brief comments.

Is Disney and ethical company? This is I suppose the basic question. My answer, based on what I have learned in the past three weeks, is a qualified ‘yes.’ It is important to remember that I only get my opinions based on what I know, and virtually all the information I have received while here has come from an incredibly biased source (Disney itself). Of course Disney is going to paint a picture of itself as an idealistic company built on a belief in magic, quality family entertainment, traditional values, and responsibility. This is why I hate public relations. It’s their job to make even Enron look like a saint. It’s their job to make Disney seem like the best company in the world.

First the bad, however, about the company and about these living situations. In it’s traditional sense (i.e. those aspects of Disney designed by Walt himself) I believe Disney to be one of the standout companies of our age. Walt (though deified by the company) seems to be a brilliant and idealistic man (if not for his chronic smoking habit, and unabashed patriotism during WWI). Where Disney falters is when it moves away from Walt and toward global dominance. This is the problem of many large companies started by one man and a dream. They grow and the dreamer gets lost in the shuffle when old men in black suits start thinking only of the bottom line. So Disney’s problem, as well as every other company, is capitalism. The fact that we have all this “fake” money floating around in the stock market makes satisfying stock holders with big profits more important than making quality entertainment. So the whole system obviously needs a re-haul. But in this sense, Disney is no different than any other global corporation. People expect it to be so, however, based on its purported values, and it is not. Disney makes wonderful movies and presents a picture of a beautiful world, but it does not always practice what it preaches. Our CEO Micheal Eisner (who is about to retire) and our new head honcho Bob Iger are notorious businessmen (from certain perspectives). Others hail them for their creative achievements. There’s no way to know for sure. Roy E. Disney, Walt’s nephew, recently left the company because he hated Eisner and credited him with destroying everything his uncle and dad (the forgotten half of the Disney founding team) had worked to build. He started a web-based campaign to save the company, and then recently, the two worked out their differences. Now Roy is back in a ceremonial position and everything is happy again. What really happened, no one will ever know unless one of them published a tell-all book, in which case we will know he was the money-grubbing bad apple. Then there was the whole shebang about Eisner hiring his friend Someone Ovitz as president. Apparently this guy was so inept they had to remove him after a year, along with a huge severance pay. This made the shareholders angry so they sued and a verdict was just reached that Eisner is not responsible. Truth? Who knows.

Other than the normal corporate hoopla, Disney has some other issues as well. Some will tell me Disney hates the environment. Some people say Disney essentially bought out public land in Florida to build Disney World. They did this by keeping a few cows on the land (still there today), calling it a farm, and avoiding business land taxes. Others don’t like Disney’s globalization. They believe Disney is pushing the Western world on humanity. By painting a perfect picture of the world, they are doing more harm than good for the world. This is a tough question. Yes Disney is expanding. Just a few days ago, they opened a new park in Hong Kong, their 10th worldwide. This I do not have a problem with, and I’ll explain why later. But Disney owns a whole lot more than theme parks. This I do have a problem with. Modern Disney television is largely garbage. The Disney Channel is full of shows with pre-teens talking on their cell phones, complete with product placement, product tie-ins, and really bad music. It is nauseating. Disney TV and radio is essentially an advertisement for consumerism more than entertainment. They have sold out. The there’s the things they own that have nothing to do with Disney. ABC, ESPN, Touchtone Pictures, Miramax, Hollywood Records/Pictures…all these things are essentially amoral to me. They are the same as any other TV station, record company, or movie studio. They put out stuff they think will sell. Is this moral or ethical? No. I would change it, most of the world would argue, hey that’s capitalism, let it be.

Some would argue Disney treats their employees poorly. This is partially true. Wages are low on the bottom ranks (i.e. me). Some people hate the whole College Program that I am a part of, because it is essentially cheap labor for Disney and an effective bargaining tool against the unions of the full-time workers. But, while we get paid next to nothing, the benefits (non health care and that stuff, but other things) make up for it in my opinion. But I still would pay us more if I had a say. So to me, Disney has many flaws, but none of them are any worse than any other corporation. The main problem is that Disney presents the image that it is different when it is not. But in the end, I think good nudges ahead.

For all its company lines about synergy and product tie-ins and low wages and cultural monopolization, Disney appears to do a lot of good. They have the most handicapped accessible parks I think anywhere. They have a huge initiative that is fairly well followed through on about “environmentality.” They push safety as the first concern of employees. And their movies are still unabashedly family-oriented. Whether they do it to make money or to honor heritage or because they really believe it, I don’t know, but they do it, and that makes a difference. And that is what I think does make Disney stand out. They do make dreams come true and encourage people to believe in themselves and see the world for the good things…if the price is right.

Disney’s brightest point in my mind is the theme parks. The level of innovation and creativity in these parks is astounding. Before Disney there were no theme parks, just amusement parks. You’d go in and pay 10 cents or whatever per ride and ride a Ferris wheel or a tiny wooden roller coaster. It was the whole Coney Island/Atlantic City thing. Then Disney came and really invented the theme park. They made lands with themes to them. They told stories with the rides. Rides became attractions, 3-D immersive storybooks. Now you see elements of this everywhere. But in the 1950s it was revolutionary. The number of firsts that belong to Disney in many fields in fact are pretty amazing. First sound cartoon, first movie merchandise product line, first CGI cartoon, and it goes on. There is also the question of Disney’s exportation of culture to areas of the world that may not want to be Americanized. But I think that more than America and consumerism, Disney parks sell the idea that magic is real, that the world is a beautiful place, and that dreams can come true. And I the eternal optimist will never argue with those ideals.

They also encourage education. There are Disney Learning Centers all over the property here. They are essentially libraries featuring both Disney books and films, but footage of old Disney cartoons, grand openings, and other business, leadership, and lifestyle books. And they hold these lectures on different aspects of work, how to use computers, behind the scenes tours of the parks, all kinds of stuff. It is all business or Disney-related in some way, but it shows a commitment to continuing education. And believe it or not, I really miss school. I miss learning about things other than how to herd people through a line and other aspects of my job, so these books and lectures have been a lot of fun.

So as a corporation goes, Disney has some good points. You still have the managers who tell you, just like in “Office Space” that doing what you’re told only makes you a good employee, and you really need to stand out to be a great employee. And it is naturally assumed that your main life goal is to climb the corporate ladder at Disney, but they do offer a lot for employees and for the social good. So is Disney ethical? As always, yes and no. If you focus on the fact that you’re working for a huge conglomerate you’ll get lost in the shuffle; but if you realize that they do what they can to keep their zillions of employees happy, they have a strong sense of responsibility, and they do all they can to give people good clean fun, you feel good about working for something bigger than you. As long as I don’t get caught up in the popular Walt cult (the popular myth around here that Walt Disney is generally better than Jesus, Buddha, and the Dali Llama combines) I think I can enjoy my time here for what it is – a new experience. Disney makes people happy, and that is ultimately a good thing.





10.4.2005
Volume 4 - Orlando, Florida
Well it hasn’t been too long since my last update, but since I am in such a strange and different place, there is just a ton to talk about. Some good, but unfortunately mostly bad or at least disappointing. But a man must know troubles to appreciate the good times. But first an amusing thought. There was a man on my safari recently who was convinced our hippos were fake (all of our animals are real). He kept telling his son the hippos were all fake, even after seeing one go to the bathroom. Someone else thought the giraffes were fake. I wonder what this means. Has our technology come so far along that people expect everything to be fake? Has real, natural beauty been replaced my computers in costumes? It’s weird to think that no mater what I told them, these people just thought I was feeding them a line. They expected everything at Disney to be fake, thus missing the entire point of the Animal Kingdom, which is to promote the natural beauty of wild animals. They don’t want to believe that they’re real, and I can’t figure out why.

Which leads directly into my next point. I miss the “realness” of everywhere else I’ve ever been a great deal. The artificiality of this entire enterprise is quite burdensome. It is a great escape/vacation, but living here is torture. I’ve had enough vacation already, show me real people doing something real at a real place! Here’s what I mean. Disney itself is all about fantasy. It brings in the best of all these different areas/themes and puts them together into their perfect world. This is a beautiful idea and a beautiful place, but in the back of your mind is Jiminy Cricket saying “none of it is real!” There are all these gorgeous hotels modeled after New Orleans, the Caribbean, ski lodges, etc. I just really want to actually go to one of those places. I wonder how many people out there take all their trips to Disney World and see fake New Orleans, fake Caribbean, and fake ski lodges but have never been to the real place? And they pay twice as much to see the sanitized version of it! Everything is showy, flashy, and luxury. Disney’s objective is to make it so the guests never lift a finger. They become pampered for a few days, which is a great vacation, but as an employee I feel like I am insulting these people’s intelligence. I can find my way across the country and back with a AAA map and a lot of getting lost, but I have to tell these guests like preschoolers the way to the closest potty so they can tinkle. It makes me want to go work on a farm and milk a cow or something. So here is the argument that I have heard before and am starting to believe more and more. Too much of a good thing is a bad thing. Disney’s sanitized paradise is a good thing for a trip, but there should be a limit of one visit here every 10 years per person. It can wear on the conscience of any thoughtful person.

But Disney is the good part. I now live in a place I would never live if given the choice. I am in a gated apartment complex staffed by security amidst strip malls, a million restaurants, golf courses, divided streets, walk-in medical clinics, five factory outlets, three malls, gas stations, and a few tacky souvenir stores, all surrounded my mile after mile of exclusive gated communities…and all without a drop of culture anywhere. No parks, nothing free, no community, nothing but commercialism and suburban luxury. Blech. I am not a hippy or a vagrant or a nomad or a bohemian or a gutter punk or any of those outcast clicks who traditionally reject greater society. I just want to walk to a park, read a book by a lake, and go to a good lecture or something without seeing a “buy one get one free” sign on the way. Seriously, this place was built entirely for tourists. It is the number one tourist destination in the world, so there are a million people trying to make money off those folks who come for a few days for the sole purpose of spending money. It makes economic sense, but it is a bad deal for us locals. Not that I don’t like tourists or tourism, I am just completely surrounded by it all the time. I would kill for a coffee shop to just go and get like chicken salad or something. I don’t even like coffee or coffee shops, I just want some kind of community, a place to hang out and eat healthy food. I never thought I would miss Lancaster County the place (I knew I’d miss the people) but I would kill to smell cow patties right now, because I would know there are real people doing real work. This all confirms what I had previously thought. My future living choices become narrower by the minute, because I really don’t like suburbs. Yes I have lived most of my life in suburbs, but living here in the ultimate suburb makes me long for the authenticity of the rural life or the culture of city life. I just hope there are some cities left by the time I buy a house; hopefully the suburbs won’t become so big they swallow up the cities from which they came. I here and now make a vow that my future house will not have a shingle of vinyl siding, no porch in the back yard if there’s none in the front, a yard that looks the way God made it instead of a landscaped man-made lake shared by 10 neighbors who have never spoken, and only as much space as I actually need (but I do need that home theatre that looks like a real theatre).

And finally, one more quick word about why I can never work for a corporation. They really don’t care about their employees. As long as they pay their employees and get paid by their customers, employees will always be secondary. In a capitalist system run by groups of people investing other people’s money in random companies with the only goal of making money, there is little room for the people who actually make it happen. Disney is very much a corporation. Example A: I have requested two days off in January, the last two days I am down here because my girlfriend and sister are coming down to hang out before we drive back home together. Despite asking months in advance I am not allowed to have these days off. Why? Because they are not allowed to give me off those days. Why? Because that’s what it says in my contract. The contract doesn’t actually exist in writing though. It is assumed. Why? Because they have the power to fire me for no reason, end of story. Here are introduced two new concepts. One: the art of saying a whole lot without saying anything at all. I have never heard it so much in my life. It is impossible to get an answer about anything. Because nobody knows the answers, except they’re not allowed to say that, so they have to say all kinds of mumbo jumbo so that by the time they’re done you still have no idea what they said and give up because you just feel like you need to leave in order to regain the brain cells you have just lost by listening to them. How’s that for a run-on sentence? I still have no idea why I don’t get off, because there is no reason other that I can’t. And I can’t find out. Why? Two: the art of maintaining power based on a regime of fear. Enter Marxism live and in person. Turns out we haven’t advanced much in the past hundred years or so. Here we have an example of the maintenance of power because of clearly defined and advertised hierarchies of authority where those on top maintain their power because they keep those on bottom living in fear. I cannot tell you how many things I could do to get fired. It is almost harder to stay employed here than it is to get fired. And if I’m fired I can never work for any of the million companies Disney owns ever again (which I guess doesn’t really matter). If I call off sick on the days I was denied getting off I will be fired and never work for them again. If I am really sick? It seems that doesn’t matter. A perfect record can be erased if I am sick on the wrong day. Spending time with family or thinking logically are not priorities for Disney or other corporations. It doesn’t make economic sense. Or does it? Many leadership books Disney offers in their own libraries talk about the importance of good employer/employee relations in increasing productivity and profits. But alas, the world has still not escaped the bonds of hypocrisy. For how stifling this environment is, I am amazed anyone comes up with original ideas. Wait…Pocahontas, Hercules, Snow White, Little Mermaid, maybe not so original after all.

So bottom line, that was a lot of random ramblings about things you may or may not care about, but I helped start a pledge at my college last May asking graduates to consider the ethical implications of their life and not just money. So I am simply trying not to make a mockery of myself, and urging everyone else to push ahead with some common sense, logic, compassion, and maybe some cows for authenticity. And please, never start your own tacky souvenir shop…unless it’s for something like the World’s Biggest Ball of Twine, the Corn Palace, that place where you can drive through the middle of a tree…those places rock.





10.14.2005
Volume 5 - Orlando, Florida
I really didn’t expect to be writing every week, but when too much food for thought enters my brain at one time, it is important to get it out before I forget everything. Just a few things today my friends. Some good and some bad. First, I don’t want to destroy anyone’s memories of happy Disney movies. I do like Disney and their movies are still top notch. Go see “Brother Bear;” it’s one of the least popular but best Disney animated movies of recent years.

So first, some confirmation of things I said last time. Remember how I said that there are some people who refuse to believe our animals are real? Well on a side note, I noticed an interesting trend recently. People get generally pretty excited when they see the animals up close. They ooh and ahh and gasp and such. This is good to be in awe of nature. I think it’s really funny though at the end of the ride (ride spoiler ahead!) when we pass the one little Animatronic baby elephant everyone goes gaga over it. It’s like seeing their newborn baby for the first time. Their audible awwwwww is louder than when they see some of the real animals. But that just means they’re a good crowd and wiling to play along. It’s still funny though.

Also, I think I recently related my distaste for suburbs. I now have some proof that no one really wants to live in suburbs, and here comes the good old “follow your dreams and don’t let society hold you down” Jeremy you know and love. I went to Epcot recently. Future World has gone downhill since I was little, but World Showcase has become really interesting (still waiting for an Australia pavilion though). Anyway, I watched three 360 movies about different countries. These are movies where you stand in the middles and the movie is playing all around you. They’re like super-Imaxes. These movies generally feature the best landscape and beauty the country has to offer. If you were watching a well-done travel video advertising the country, these are the things you would see. Now think of all the similar movies you have seen. Movies showing the beauty of a country, sights that make you want to visit or live there. Seriously, right now think about it before you move on. Even think of a movie about the U.S. In any one of these movies have you ever once seen a Wal-Mart? What about a McDonald’s? Have you seen a housing development or a row of houses with vinyl siding that look all the same? Maybe there were a bunch of Applebee’s? No, you mean you’ve never seen suburbia in one of these films or brochures advertising the beauty of a country? It is commonly held that suburbia is not the most beautiful place in the country. The movies feature lots of cities and skylines and lots of rural areas (forests, rivers, plains, mountains) but not a single suburb. And yet people are moving away from the cities and country into the suburbs, even though they themselves realize they are settling for the least desirable place. They take vacations to the beautiful places. “I love the mountains but I could never live here; it’s too isolated.” “I had so much fun in LA, but it’s too crowded to live here.” Ever heard or said this before? I have, and yet a part of me knows that there is no action, no life, no culture, and no beauty in a row of fast food restaurants. So my first word of encouragement for the day is, hey, why not live in the places you like instead of going where it’s comfortable. If you see the Canada 360 movie at Epcot, and think wow, Ottawa looks like a really neat place and then you go and visit and like it, then move out of your little suburb and become a Canuck. You only live once, and I would hate to say I spent most of my life browsing a strip mall.

Work has been really good lately. I never disliked my job. I love doing it! I have found out that what I hate is the heat. Trust me, anyone up north, you will miss the seasons when they are gone. There will be no retiring to sunny Florida for me. My developed dislike for ridiculously humid weather may be an important factor in my recent growing like of Canada, but it still stands that it is too hot down here. It is still about 90 every day. Every day my back is drenched with sweat from sitting in a truck and driving around in the heat. The other day, it was decent out, maybe in the low 80s or something, and I really liked my job. I could drive around the track more times before feeling like I wanted to encase myself in ice, and I think my spiel was more happy and energetic as well. So the moral is I hate humidity.

One bad thing happened at work though. We obviously report it when we see an injured animal. However, we have a number of birds who are Florida birds on our safari. They are not necessarily supposed to be there; they just live in Florida so there they are. In other words, they are just along for the ride. The other day someone called in an injured vulture they saw. Vultures are wild Florida birds, not our domesticated African birds. This bird (which I saw) was lying on the side of the road not moving. Chances are it was close to death. The response from the people in charge was “we don’t call in injured animals unless they are part of our collection.” This shouldn’t have surprised me but many parts of it made me really mad. First, the way that the animals are called our “collection” like they’re an artifact in a museum. Animals are living, breathing, thinking beings and the idea that we own them put that way made me feel strange. Then there is the fact that we did nothing for this dying animal. Animal Kingdom is a park supposedly built on the ideals of conservation and helping express a love for animals. Well I guess we only love certain animals, (i.e. the ones we paid a lot of money for and that bring in a lot of money). For a park to claim to care about conservation and animal welfare and then turn a blind eye when an animal is dying is to me very hypocritical. Florida vultures are nowhere near extinct. I understand that resources should be placed largely on the exotic endangered animals, but how do you think animals become endangered in the first place? Because people don’t think they’re endangered so they don’t care about protecting them. People used to think we would never run out of buffalo, so while they’re out there protecting the bald eagles all of a sudden the buffalo have disappeared. To truly protect animals, we have to protect all animals, not just certain ones. One more example of business and politics trumping noble ideals.

I noticed something else recently. It’s kind of funny. I had never seen most people at work in normal clothes until we had a company picnic of sorts this week. It made me realize how much value we as a society and I personally place on clothing as a defining characteristic of a person. I feel like I didn’t really know many of my coworkers until that day when I saw them with their own choice of clothing on. Clothes are a way we can express ourselves, but at the same time it can put us into cliques. You see a guy with an Abercrombie shirt and think, “I didn’t know he was a prep” or a girl with a tight black t-shirt and think, “I didn’t know she was so punk rock.” And so we have found out more about people and labeled them more at the same time. I felt like I knew the people much better after seeing them in regular clothes and it made me wonder if I should be judging anyone just because of the clothes they wear. It was a humbling moment. It also made me remember why school uniforms are such a bad idea. You make a kid look exactly the same as everyone else and it stifles their creativity while at the same encouraging them to let their personality shine through in other ways, maybe making them more creative. Like animals who are blind rely on hearing much more and so that sense is more developed. So I guess it’s still an open question.

Now this part may get a little controversial. I am an eternally optimistic person and do not consider myself generally bitter and jaded, especially when it comes to relationships. Which is why it hurts me so to say that it seems to me like the very concept of a meaningful relationship is losing ground fast. Well duh you may say, anyone who’s been through high school or seen a movie can tell you that. But what gets me more is that even many of those involved in relationships seem to care very little about the health of the relationship or their significant other. What I think it boils down to (and this is all tied to the suburbia thing as well) is that my generation is conditioned to convenience as the primary goal of life. Quick and easy, now now now, mine, me me me. We are so conditioned to getting whatever we want the second we want it that we have forgotten how to work for anything. Anything that requires more work for a bigger payoff is sacrificed at the alter of convenience. This philosophy is a monumental tragedy and needs to be reversed if society is to continue to advance. We have advanced past the point where we can even communicate effectively enough with one another to have a meaningful relationship. Sound bites, news tickers, we have dumbed down our communication. Instant gratification is an evil evil thing. Not only do we get really bad reality television from all this, but the same concept leads to a mindset that relationships should work the same way out iPod does. In a few years we’ll be downloading holograms to fulfill our sexual fantasies for 99 cents a pop and the whole concept of relationships will be removed from our cultural repertoire. Maybe a little drastic, but is that not the logical conclusion of all this (if you can follow any of my random ramblings)?

So what is the main point, and how did I come to all these counter-cultural revelations? I have seen soooo many people in Australia and down here in Florida come down with a significant other until a few weeks into their stay they have forgotten all about their original special friend, started a meaningless physical relationship, and left feeling “liberated” from the “hassle” of being in a relationship. (Maybe their old boy/girlfriend was a jerk who treated them bad and it is better that they get out, but that’s a whole other story.) It has become common and accepted that long distance relationships are like penpals, just stop writing when you get bored. Where do I even start? The problem is about 30% of the population already completely agrees with me and doesn’t need to be preached to and the other chunk will never let me convince them there’s anything wrong with it. Quite a divisive issue. People have let the god of instant gratification affect even their “meaningful” relationships. Why does everyone who leaves their boyfriend or girlfriend to study or work in another location cheat and then dump them? It’s never the people still at home who do the dumping, it’s always the traveler. It gives the impression that relationships are nothing more than a consistent person to give you physical gratification. If they are not there then there’s no reason to keep them around. You just find someone else to meet your needs for a few months and you have solved your problem. Relationships have become a matter of convenience. Maybe I am so different because I believe I am actually in a truly meaningful relationship. The relationship I have with my girlfriend makes me very happy because I see it as the complete opposite of what I see all around me in life and on TV. You can tell the couples that really matter to each other. What I think needs to change is one simple paradigm shift. Ask not what your girlfriend/boyfriend can do for you, ask what you can do for your girlfriend/boyfriend. A true relationship is not about someone else meeting your wants; it is about you meeting the needs and wants of your partner. It’s about them, not you. This is the essential difference between love and lust. Yes, it is harder work in the short run. Yes you have to work for it. There will be times when you might want to give up, but like all good things, it is worth the hard work in the end. Trust me. Ask anyone in a good relationship and they’ll tell you there have been ups and downs but the ups are so much better than both the downs and the alternative “instant” lifestyle.

That’s enough for today. So go out, buy a house in Canada, marry a nice girl, and don’t shoot the moose in your yard. And remember, as Mr. Walt Disney once said, there’s a great big beautiful tomorrow waiting for you just around the bend!

Jeremy





10.24.2005
Volume 6 - Orlando, Florida
Ah, the wonders of Florida continue. I am supposed to be at work today, but we have a snow day! Well not really, but it’s the same idea. It’s a hurricane day! Yes, even Disney will close down for a hurricane. So I’m now in my apartment without much to do since everything is closed and we really aren’t supposed to go outside. We are right in the middle of it now, and honestly, unless it picks up, it’s fairly mild. Granted I haven’t been outside yet, and I’m sure it would be much worse if I lived closer the beach, but as it stands now, I’ve seen nastier weather in the form of Ohio thunderstorms. So I can now say I’ve lived through a hurricane!

But there are other things happening in the world too. I have discovered I really like tree houses. I never had one as a kid, but I’m talking the real thing here, like an actual house in a tree. Not a little room with a ladder, but kitchen, bathroom, you name it up in the tree. I think I am going to add tree house to my list of dreams. What inspired this preposterous new desire? Disney of course! I was at the Magic Kingdom recently and walked through the Swiss Family Tree House attraction, based on the Swiss Family Robinson movie. Basically it’s like Gilligan’s Island except they build a house in a tree with items they salvaged from the wreckage (which happen to be in excellent condition). The practical simplicity of this walk-through attraction hit home for me. It made me realize that with the right design, a really big sturdy tree, and year-round perfect weather, a tree house is not so outlandish. There have to be some big trees near San Diego right? I remember when I went to Ecuador a few years ago and we stayed in a hotel that was built in a tree in a cloud forest (basically a rainforest above the clouds) and it was one of the coolest, most beautiful places I’ve ever been. If they can build a hotel, then I can definitely build a house. So look for that in the future.

I also rediscovered an old love at the Magic Kingdom (which continues to impress me as the best park down here) – ice cream. We talk about all these American icons: baseball, Route 66, the cowboy, freedom, dropping bombs on other countries, but we never mention ice cream. (Honestly, couldn’t we solve most of our international disputes by giving away free ice cream? Who can say no to Ben & Jerry’s?) What really got me was the timelessness of ice cream. There is an old-fashioned ice cream parlor on Main Street, U.S.A. at the Magic Kingdom (circa 1900). Ice cream was a cultural icon at this time. People would gather at ice cream parlors to socialize and have a yummy treat. People who served ice cream were cool friendly faces (well, not cool I guess, that word probably wasn’t invented yet). Now fast forward 50 years and what do you think of with sock hops and Elvis and do wop music and big tailfins? Why ice cream of course! The ice cream parlor has changed to the local soda jerk or soda fountain; but even though we have started selling soda and maybe some grilled cheese, the basic idea of the ice cream place being a cool hangout is still there. Think Happy Days. Remember movies like Pleasantville and the original Back to the Future, anything involving the 1950s has to have a soda jerk. Ice cream fell out of favor in the coming decades as VW vans took over in the 1960s and discotheques ran the 1970s. Then with the explosion of consumerism in the 1980s people were able to buy ice cream at the supermarket and take it home with them. This was good for ice cream but bad for the ice cream parlor. But the 1990s have seen a resurgence in ice cream stores, even regaining their old prominence as the cool place to hang out (especially in the summer after your team won the baseball game). Some are inside, some are outside, some are cheap, some are pricey, but they are all fairly desired workplaces and enjoyable stops on a hot summer day. I had always wanted to work at an ice cream shop and got the opportunity to do so last summer, and while it is not incredibly glamorous it was still a lot of fun. What other cultural icon can you think of that has lasted so long in such prominence as the ice cream parlor? So do yourself a flavor and head down to your favorite ice cream stand (yes I know it’s almost winter) and support America in ways unilateral action never could.

One final happy story. As difficult as it is to do the exact same thing every single day, the animals at my job make it worthwhile. I wish you could all come down here to visit and see the awesome African animals I get to see every day. But I realize that is not possible. So I thought I should do what I can to bring the animals to you. They really are cool and interesting and often very funny. So what follows are descriptions and humorous anecdotes about each of the animals I see every day (and some links to pictures of them so you can see how cool they are). First is the blue crane (http://www.shoarns.com/BlueCrane.html, also called the Stanley crane). There’s nothing really special about them other than the fact that they stay with one mate for their entire 40 year life, which is almost unheard of in the animal world. I would call it sweet and romantic, but our managers get mad if we give human characteristics to animals. Then there is the Egyptian goose (http://www.wildflowers-cdrom.com/birds/birdpics/Egyptian_goose.JPG). Their legs are stinking long. I’ve seen geese and ducks before, but they really look like ducks whose legs are too long. Then there’s the okapi (http://www.atpm.com/7.06/southern-california/okapi.shtml). This one is really funny because it looks like a horse with half zebra stripes and a long neck. It’s one of those animals that everyone always sees and calls it the wrong thing (“look mommy, a zebra!”) and I feel bad when I have to say “this rare animals is actually an okapi.” Turns out they are the closest relatives of giraffes. Who knew. Bongos (http://www.ket.org/trips/zoo/bongo.html) and greater kudus (http://www.mccullagh.org/image/10d-17/male-greater-kudu.html) are pretty similar. They are both big shy antelopes with crazy horns that are rarely seen in the wild. These crazy helmeted guinea fowl (http://www.xmission.com/~hoglezoo/animals/view.php?id=12) always stop in the middle of the road and we can’t see them because they’re so small, so we just sit for 10 minutes until they move. We have some more birds including pink-backed pelicans, saddle-billed storks (http://www.africaguide.com/images/library/wildlife/pf008.jpg), and yellow-billed storks (http://www.dongettyphoto.com/kenya/yellowbilledstork.html). The storks and pelicans always fight with the native Florida vultures.

There are also a bunch of ducks that nobody sees because they’re always hiding. Yellow-billed ducks (http://www.capebirdclub.org.za/cbc/junior%20programme.html), red pintail ducks (http://www.ejphoto.com/redbilled_pintail_page.htm), and Northern pintail ducks (http://www.acclaimstockphotography.com/_gallery/_pages/0001-0404-1201-2001.html). We have two kinds of rhinos, black (http://www.game-reserve.com/black_rhino_800x600.html) and white (http://www.naturesimage.co.uk/pics/white-rhino-in-marsh.jpg). White rhino is just a distortion of the Afrikaans word vit which means wide, so it has nothing to do with their color. My theory is that they named the white rhino and then had to come up with a name for the other one so they figured they’d call it black so they could tell the difference. White rhinos are bigger, nicer, and have squarer mouths. And no African safari would be complete without hippos and crocodiles. Hippos actually kill more people every year than any other animal in Africa (other than diseases spread by bugs). There are cool white-faced whistling ducks (http://www.c-web4pdn.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/White-faced-Whistling-Duck.jpg) who whistle instead of quack and white-breasted cormorants (http://community.webshots.com/photo/49533822/49534040hFERJZ). Apparently bird feathers are waterproof so they can float, but these guys swim through the water like fish going after food so they aren’t waterproof so they can sink. But then they need to stand out in the sun and flap their wings to dry off. It’s really funny.

There are many animals that everyone has seen before like giraffes, ostriches, flamingoes, elephants, lions, cheetahs, and zebras as well. We have these cute little gazelle called tommies (http://www.underwater.org/mermaid/tanzania/antelope.html) that everyone thinks are babies and these amazing impalas that can jump like 30 feet. Sable antelopes are pretty cool looking (http://www.life.umd.edu/classroom/bsci338m/Image_Archives/Artiodactyla/sable2.jpg). White-bearded wildebeest (http://www.mammalogy.org/mil_images/images/mid/1149.jpg) are the fun stampeding animals that ran over Mufasa in The Lion King. These crazy cows called watusi cattle are amazing (http://www.nolegsneeded.com/Images/thanks-2001-images/watusi-2.jpg). Their horns can be six feet long with a circumference of 20 inches. I can’t figure out how they hold their heads up.

We have these cool monkeys called mandrills (http://www.tierlobby.de/rubriken/Tiergarten/affen/mandrill_provider.jpg). I think they are my favorite because they are so humanlike. They scratch their heads and pick bugs off each other and do all kinds of cool stuff. I really like the warthogs as well. Scimitar-horned oryx (http://www.peopleandplanet.net/files/Scimitar-horned%20Oryx_Antonio%20di%20CroceDa3vKQ.jpg) have really really long horns. And finally, the Patterson’s eland (http://www.absolutestockphoto.com/albums/userpics/10012/normal_Absolute_12_5753.jpg) are these huge antelope that can be like six feet tall. And that my friends is the safari I get to give at least 10 times every day. Woo! So now that I am done writing, the hurricane has come and gone, and it was nothing more than a little wind and rain. So I must get ready to talk about animals for nine hours tomorrow. And maybe I’ll have a little ice cream from my freezer tonight! You guys rock!





11.23.2005
Volume 7 - Orlando, Florida
This is the second time I’ve written this, at least the first part. There are few things I dislike more than writing something important and having it vanish into the world of computer-land like it never even existed. I’ll try to do my best to be funny and poignant the second time around, but my stream of conscience writing always suffers if I have to repeat myself. But…it has been a while since I last wrote. I honestly have not had a lot to say or much on my mind in the past month. After the hurricane passed I returned to work as usual, Halloween came and went, and now it’s almost Thanksgiving (and the Disney Christmas parades have already started)! I think the “as usual” part of that last sentence is the problem. I don’t really like having an “as usual.” I would much rather wake up and greet a new adventure each day. But that is not the life of a man who drives the same circle and repeats the same spiel 10 times a day. But I have recently had a resurgence of brain power and am excited to share it with you…the few, the proud, the people who can read this in one sitting!

First, I did have an exciting development recently with my beloved Revolution Threads clothing company which I am excited to announce is now much more than a clothing company! If you are unfamiliar with Revolution Threads, it is a little enterprise I have been working on with a friend making clothing and other fashionable-type accessories promoting peace, thinking for yourself, and standing up for your beliefs. We had a bit of downtime but are now back in action with an expanded line (to use a commercial term) of messenger bags, bumper stickers, iron-on patches, and buttons of every kind. This is not the place to advertise, but let it be known that our stuff rocks and you should buy things with your massive amounts of expendable income. See my passion at http://www.TheRevolutionLives.com

Now that that is out of the way, let me lament the loss of one of America’s greatest tourist destinations – Xanadu. That’s right folks, Disney still stands, but its neighbor Xanadu is gone forever, only to be remembered in grainy photographs. I glanced through a book of offbeat tourist attractions in Florida and found two that piqued my interest in the Orlando area. Incidentally, they both happened to be on the same road. When I finally got around to driving this road I found a haven for dilapidated old tourist traps in deteriorating stylized buildings. There were old go-cart courses with grass sprouting up in between the pavement, a mysterious castle with nothing to indicate the fun that once lay inside, and a bland square building advertising the opportunity to “ride the movies” undoubtedly before Universal did it better. All of this was interspersed between Targets, shoe outlets, modern strip malls, and the first houses outside of gated communities I have seen since I arrived. I love those offbeat attraction books! I found one of my treasures, a giant alligator statue eating an SUV. It was right in front of a small roadside zoo that has been out of business for years. I was not brave enough to venture into the remnant of the zoo, but their architectural weenie of a gator was worth the trip. It sits inconspicuously on the side of the road now beside the tiny Gator Motel (which has a continental breakfast, a feature Disney hotels forgot).

After driving around for well over an hour looking for Xanadu, I finally gave up hope when I saw no sign the place had ever existed. What was this mysterious beacon I searched for? It was a “house of the future!” There were three of them built around the country back in the ‘70s or ‘80s when Disney was just an infant and Universal was still a dream. The Orlando location was the only one still standing. It seemed like a neat concept. They basically blew up 16 big balloons and covered them with some kind of foam and that was the house. It was all white and looked like something out of a 1950’s sci-fi movie complete with all kinds of futuristic stuff inside. Unfortunately these houses of the future eventually closed down for the same reason – there’s no way to have enough money to keep up with the pace of technology. (Disneyland had their own house of the future way back when. It was a big white plus sign (white is a very futuristic color) that eventually was destroyed for the same reason.) The once cool things in the house eventually became commonplace and the house lost its novelty and shut down. (There is still a house of the future at Epcot, but it’s more like a section of a room, not an actual house. More practical but not near as cool.) So Xanadu Orlando closed its doors for good in 1996 and sat empty for nine years. There are very few things cooler than seeing a dilapidated old tourist attraction, and I was really looking forward to Xanadu. After my unsuccessful search, I came home and found on the Internet that the whole thing had been torn down in early October! And the kicker…the new owners razed it to build...condos.

I often wonder what the world was like before condos and housing developments. It would probably be very unfamiliar to today’s Americans. Undoubtedly the streets were more dangerous, people weren’t as friendly, and there was no sense of community. Or perhaps the lack of perfect comfort spurred them to higher aspirations. Because once you live in an expensive condo, you have really achieved the American dream, and there’s not a whole lot else to work for. The point is, maybe this old cheesy white blob of a house had been sitting around rotting for a decade, and maybe it was tacky and overpriced when it was open…but I bet that tacky balloon had more soul and culture than any prefabricated condominium ever will. Our nation, our culture, our history, our future is being torn down to build heartless masses of vinyl siding where men with heavy hearts will attempt to fill them with material possessions. There are millions of condos; there was only one Xanadu (well three, but still).

The same thing is happening to one of our nation’s greatest treasures – the movie theatre. I’m not talking about multiplexes here. Back when movies first came into being, they were shown in the grand picture palaces that formerly drew crowds to plays and operas. One really big theatre. These one-screen gems brought the crowds from all around to downtown for a night, literally, on the town. Now most of these old buildings have been converted into Moose lodges and dance studios. It’s not all bad though; there are still a great deal of these places still around and a lot of people working to save them, and in reality multiplexes are a good thing too. But another venue for watching movies is in deep doo doo. Farther out from the city sprang to life in the 1950s a fantastic new way to watch movies for very little money. Either that or explore the nether regions of your backseat for the randier crowd. Yes drive-ins took America by storm. Today they still exist and still offer great prices and good times, now for kids and naughty teenage lovebirds alike. But if there was an endangered species list for historic buildings, these screens would top the list. They are closing down like mad, only to be replaced by…that’s right, condos (or in some cases strip malls). The drive-in closest to my college recently ran its last roll of film. The problem is that the areas that were once rural or slightly suburban have been developed as the suburbs have grown beyond boiling point. The land where drive-ins were built in the ‘50s is now highly desirable real estate. To me living on land once home to a drive-in is like working for a tobacco company, but unfortunately many people just want the comfort of telling their friends they live in a condo. Just don’t plan to go to the movies anywhere near that fine abode. Even the awesome second-run, $3, two-screen theatres are leaving us. The death of one-screen movie palaces and drive-ins is killing America. What is the one thing that the U.S. is known for around the world? What is our number one export? Entertainment. People around the world get their views of America from our entertainment. You would be hard-pressed to find a nation that does not show American movies. And yet this integral part of our national identity is being torn down brick by brick, panel by panel until there is nothing left in this country but houses and people too afraid to leave them. Keep in mind the historical significance of these places and next time you see one, open or sitting empty, bask in its beauty, because it may soon be only a memory…to the few who remember it. (This section dedicated to the Columbia Drive-In and the Eric Theatre, both in Pennsylvania.)

This all leads nicely into another witty observation. There is a peculiar habit in Orlando for every business to advertise itself as the “World’s Largest!” when in actuality none of them are the world’s largest anything. The real world’s largest things are in the offbeat attractions books. They are the world’s largest ball of twine, and the largest rubber stamp, and the largest house covered completely with corn. But nobody really wants to shop in the world’s largest gift shop, especially when there is a bigger one down the street. There ought to be some kind of regulation on these kinds of commercial claims the way the Food and Drug Administration regulates claims of food and drugs. If a product is shown on the box larger than it actually is or with things not actually found in the box, they need to say so in tiny print on the box. Fruity beverages must be called fruit drink unless it is 100% fruit when it can be called juice. Opinion claims are different, because no one can really tell what the world’s best anything is, but for a store to actually claim it is the world’s largest when it clearly isn’t is blatantly misleading a consumer and that should be illegal. Maybe the FCC could regulate it; they seem to be really into regulation these days. One particular claim set this whole thought process in motion. Supposedly the world’s largest McDonald’s sits right here in Orlando. It is advertised everywhere, even in travel books to come see this McDonald’s with a gift shop and arcade and huge play area that will blow your mind. Well it blew alright. It was an average sized McDonald’s with an extra chunk tacked on. There are few seats in this extra chunk, however, just lots of video games. So what you have is typical McDonald’s with an expanded menu, lots of video games, a pretty big play area, a gift shop the size of a small closet, and lots of Disney-esque statues and theming. Maybe the most unique, but not the biggest by a long shot. I don’t know where the biggest is, but I do know in downtown Sydney sits the only three-story McDonald’s I have ever been in, complete with chandeliers and statues and a big menu and everything. So don’t believe everything you see on the side of a building!

And finally some real news of actual importance. Ever since I decided to take this little trip down to Florida for a few months after graduating, I have had a kind of plan for what to do afterward. At least for the first few months. This plan involved finding an internship at a National Park or other “in touch with nature, no mass media, no advertising, just birdies and moonlight” type place. So I went through an established organization and applied to four different parks. I am learning that life on your own (so to speak, because I know I am not really alone) really is full of the same bumps and bruises as childhood. When you’re a teenager, you’re worried that potential girlfriends won’t like you and you spend your time trying to make them like you. As an adult, you’re worried that potential employers won’t like you. It’s the same story with a different object of attraction. Only as an adult you don’t get to go to school every day and be surrounded by beautiful employers. And if you want, as a teen, you can say “Who cares. I don’t need a girlfriend. I’m just going to be myself and let whatever happens happen.” As an adult that is called unemployment, bad apartment, and lots of Ramen noodles. And by the way, it lasts for the rest of your life. Yeah. So. Until the world decides that a witty guy with a good heart and a knack for observational humor is worthy of paying a livable allowance, I sit wondering where I will find myself in a month and a half.

When none of the parks came few, I was presented this very real question. The most important lesson to take out of this, I think is that few things in life really change. For instance, as a young buck there were many a time when I thought myself to be quite apt at wooing the ladiefellows. It turned out that each of these girls were just nice people who never had any intention of entering a relationship with me. I thought I was someone special, but in reality I was just another good friend. No one meant to lead me on, that is just the way it was. I am not bitter and hold no grudges; this is simply the way many relationships turn out. One person thinks the other thinks something other than they do. Enter the job market. I talked to a man form a park in Arizona three times. I emailed him as soon as the application was sent. I called him again and he checked up on my application and said he’d get to it soon. When he never called back, I called again and had a lengthy conversation/interview with him. He said I would definitely be a strong candidate and he’d be calling me back. Time passes and I called him back to hear he had filled the position. It was said totally nonchalantly without an air of care. It was like the guy had no idea who I was, like he’d never talked to me or heard my name in his life. And it realized it was just like those girls back in the day. I devote time and energy to something I think is a real possibility only to find that the other party had totally different assumptions the entire time. This is why upfront openness and honesty is so crucial to any relationship.

Luckily when I least expected it a ladiefellow I didn’t even know I was wooing wooed me right into the dream I’d always wanted and then some. So I remain undaunted and no more jaded or world-weary than when I started. Before I met the love of my life, I had just come off another failed wooing and was down in the doldrums. I had spent so much time on my previous object of affection that because that door was open (even though it wasn’t) many other doors were closed. It was only when that door slammed shut that I was able to see the big screaming open door behind it. Failure forces us quit resting on comfort and explore the world around us for waiting opportunities. When we realize the expected didn’t come to pass, and we refuse to settle for the mediocre, we have no choice but to reach for the stars. We have nothing to lose. And so it is with admitted anxiety but stronger conviction that I set out trying to line up my cards in the game of life, not just to put the most pegs in my car, or lay the most hotels on Boardwalk, but to change the whole layout of the board to a world where the residents of Park Place have no problem taking the Pennsylvania Railroad through jail and backwards passed Go to meet with the denizens of lowly Baltic Avenue; and leading the revolution is a boy in man’s clothing driving a safari truck and pointing out all the reticulated giraffe along the way. And I have no idea what that means.

Jeremy

P.S. – If you give me a good job lead I’ll tell you the secret of winning Monopoly every time…or an obscure animal fact, whichever comes to mind first.





1.12.2006
Volume 8 - Orlando, Florida
Considering the fact that I have written as much about this experience in terms of number of entries as I did about Australia; and considering the fact that Disney was not near the excitement of Australia; and considering the fact that it has been a while since I have written anything; and whereas I am incapable of not writing a run-on sentence that doesn’t not make sense; be it here resolved that this will be short and sweet.

I sit now in the comfort of my home computer (both home and comfort being relative terms). I am at home because I am in Ohio, the place where I grew up. And I am comfortable; I love my bed. But being away for so long has made me allergic to my animals. I love my pets very much, but their hair causes me to use 10 tissues a day. And my house is always freezing. At any rate, my professional relationship with The Walt Disney Company has come to an end. We have parted ways on amiable terms, if nothing more. It is my habit to reflect on the nature of each of my adventures after disembarking and returning to regular life. However, I realize a few things. First, I have no regular life. Regular life has always meant returning to the familiarity of school. I no longer have anything familiar. My home town is different. I am sure my college is different. I have traveled so much that “regular life” means picking up and moving every few months. My home is my beloved Kansas City Royals street sign, my circa 1976 suitcase, my photo albums, and the stack of CDs that have been the only constant in my life for the past five years. Home cannot be a collection of possessions, though. Home is a feeling of belonging. A feeling I get with my family and my friends. Trouble is my family is in one place, my friends are all over the world, and my love and my future is somewhere else still. I have spread my soul all over this great planet and forgot to give it a base of operations. But I am happy. I have never done anything I regret. I have the whole world in front of me and solid ideals to guide me into it. And most importantly, I have people I love. So I have returned from Disney to an exciting if uncertain future.

Second, I have surprisingly little to reflect on from my last month in Orlando that I have not already commented on. The world of the Disney employee does not lend itself to reflection or deep thinking. I have been tired and drained of energy; physically from getting up earlier than usual, waking up to party horns in my living room, and working 45-56 hours a week; emotionally from repeating the same 20-minute spiel 10 times a day for four months without variation, having very few people to converse with who had an interest in talking about anything other than work, hook-ups, and the benefits of setting alcoholic drinks on fire, and completely missing the entire holiday season. It was an experience I wouldn’t trade for the world. I liked my job. I liked the people. I liked the company. I enjoyed my time there. But I didn’t really love any of it. That’s what makes Orlando different from Sydney or LA. I brought home a few lifelong friends instead of many. I now know more what I don’t want to do than what I do. But it has given me an increased zeal to do something meaningful with my life and a better appreciation of those people whose love and encouragement has helped me live my life rather than exist through it.

I will miss the complete inundation of the Disney corporate culture. I learned more about Disney that any self-respecting human could ever care to know. But it was kind of fun to learn so much, and the very act of learning something was very beneficial in my new absence of formal educational structures. I will miss the animals. I was excited to work with animals, not only because I love them but because I drew the conclusion that the kind of person I would be working with was the kind of person who decided to devote their life to animals out of love for these innocent and beautiful creatures. Turns out most of the animal people I worked with either treat animals the same way you would treat an artifact in a museum (no other word than snob) or they were…well actually, I guess intellectual snob pretty much covers the basics here. But I will miss the animals who have no idea how proud their caretakers are to be able to brag to lesser humans that they know what it means when a giraffe sniffs another giraffe’s bottom and sticks his nose in the air. A part of me did become comfortable there, if not happy. After not going back to work for a few days, I realized finally that it was over. The procedures and mindless droning that was a part of my everyday life was most of my existence whether I like it or not. It’s like leaving prison. I’m sure they’re glad to get out, and at the same time, they still expect to wake up to a plastic plate of mashed potatoes and stew slid under the bars every morning.

So class, what did Jeremy learn from his indentured servitude? Well let’s see. I suppose it all comes back to people. Being away from the people I love, seeing the way some people squander their lives, watching plastic forests tower over the concrete below, it all helped me realize what a precious gift people are. Good or bad, love em or hate em, people are what people are. I love people. A life at Disney would have been a life devoted to money veiled like a wolf in the guise of making people happy. My life must be about people. Also, I love learning. The worst part of Disney wasn’t the presence of any great evil, but the absence of creative thought and learning. I learned at the beginning of course, and we had classes throughout my term, and I learned a lot about Disney history, but not enough. Believe it or not, I miss school. Not just the social aspects, but the educational ones as well. I realize that most jobs involve doing the exact same thing day in and day out for years on end. I have been spoiled with years and years of education where I can go to three classes a day and two clubs every night that have nothing to do with each other. The educational environment is one where questioning and thinking are supported and encouraged. I think I will go back to school. After careful consideration, it seems to me to be the best and only acceptable option in the medium term. I can’t go to school forever. Even Van Wilder graduated eventually, and though I still drive a minivan when it’s not too hot for my lack of air conditioning, I am certainly no Van. So school cannot be a long-term answer to my existential quandary, but I do believe it will help me get there. In reality, I don’t think there is a real answer or end, but there is quite an interesting journey. And in the short term? To borrow a technique learned from my years of media education…stay tuned next week (literally) to the same Bat-channel, at the same Bat-time for what can only be described as the last thing you ever thought you would hear come out of a rational person’s mouth. Shocking! Amazing! You won’t believe your eyes! But that is to come.

I would recommend the Disney College Program to anyone looking for an experience who knows what they stand for. It is an all-encompassing system down there, and it is easy to get comfortable and get sucked in. Disney is not for the faint of heart. But I loved it, and if I could go back I wouldn’t change a thing. So here I am, successfully one semester into the rest of my life. Many people claim that college produces young idealists who sooner or later get sucked up by a world that has no place for idealism. I can confirm that this is an easy explanation for people trying to rationalize their own demise into a soulless picket-fence lifestyle. I can also confirm that it is absolutely, without a doubt not true. As with many “easy ways out,” this escape from responsibility holds zero validity. I have worked in the belly of the beast. I gave up my rights as a thinking, compassionate, and creative individual to work for an enormous corporation for minimum wage. And I saw beauty there. There is a light, there is a hope, and most of all there is love even here in the darkest of places. Eight months after my graduation from college I remain as happy, as hopeful, and as positive as ever. I believe and I always will, because belief is what separates people from a technically masterful piece of Disney Audio-Animatronics. I believe in God. I believe in humanity. I believe in the power of a smile to change the face of history. I believe in the beauty of a tree made out of concrete that honest men and women are required to pass off as a real tree 10 times a day. I believe Chicken Little really did see the sky falling. So if the world tells me “no, you can’t believe,” I will continue to smile back with a broad, toothy grin, and before we know it we’ll both be smiling and hugging like old chums. The corners of their lips are turning up already.

Who’s the leader of the club that’s made for you and me…M-I-C-K-E-Y-M-O-U-S-E,
Jeremy

p.s. – I’m serious about next week. Check back for a scorching hot new tidbit…